i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
