I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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