If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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