I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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