Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
