So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
