im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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