Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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