Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize