There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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