Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
