Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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