i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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