just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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