"it" just moved
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
