i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
