You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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