I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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