Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize