I'm going to jail i love you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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