I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
