sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
