He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
