if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
me + whiskey = a bad person
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
