After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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