Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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