I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
