got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
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Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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