matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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