AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
