Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
