Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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