hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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