what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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