my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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