i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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