please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
