Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
