I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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