we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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