I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I will die if light touches me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ruined the universe
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
