I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
