Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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