i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All the doctor said was why
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
