Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize