Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i drank out of a bidet.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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