What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
