i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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