At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
