Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she looked like the before picture.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
