You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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