You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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