Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
