i jhust puked up my retainher.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
