is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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