I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
