great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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