Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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