your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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