Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
