Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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